What do you drink?

Quote of the Day: Grandpa Dave in the Doctors office. Nurse: “Sir when you drink do you drink beer, liquor or wine?” GD: “Yeah, I drink them all, but not all at once.”

Toilet Paper

Quote of the Day: Grandpa Dave: "I don't much like going to the grocery store but I'm on my last roll of toilet paper. I better go before I have to use the shower curtain."

Aneurysm

Quote of the Day: Bill: “Why don't you laugh at my jokes?” Porter: “I do laugh at your jokes.” Bill: “No you just chuckle … I want you to laugh so hard you have an aneurysm.”

Rain Gear

Quote of the Day: “On some level isn't it stupid to be washing your rain gear?”

The Sniffer

Quote of the Day: I realized you don't hear this quote everyday, but these words were actually spoken in our house this morning. “Bexar get out of her ass.”

The Smoker

Quote of the Day: A conversation with Grandpa Dave. Me: “Grandpa Dave when you gonna stop smoking?” Grandpa Dave: “About the time that you throw some dirt on my face … that's about as close as I can figure.”

Not so sad

Quote of the Day: Grandpa Dave after reading the obituary section of the paper. "Oh buddy, this is really sad, a guy I've known ever since I was little just passed away ... come to think of it, no one really liked him so I guess it's not that sad."

Country Boy

Quote of the Day: Comes from friend Ben in Texas. "You know your a country boy when you have to mow your driveway.”