Sunday, February 28, 2010

Panic Shower

Quote of the Day: Overheard during a conversation about a guy who's morning spiraled out of control. Todd: “I was in a full blown panic attack in the shower and couldn't catch my breath.” Ron: “What's the matter is your shower on a hill?”

Saturday, February 27, 2010

Once upon a time after the bar

Quote of the Day: This was a conversation Porter and I had while leaving a local 24 hour grocery store called Meijer. Bill: "I have a great story about going to Meijer one time after the bar." Porter: "I don't think I've ever spoken the words 'one time after the bar.'" Me: "Hell, some of my best stories have started with 'one time after the bar.'"

Friday, February 26, 2010

Executive Branch

Quote of the Day: Todd is a heart attack survivor and was talking to his friend Ron about his phobia's. Todd: “I tell you what's really driving me nuts this week ... Cheney's 5th heart attack and Bill Clinton's two stints.” Ron: “What ... do you see yourself as part of the Executive Branch? What do you have in common with these two achievers?”

Wednesday, February 24, 2010

Eat like a bird

Quote of the Day: Overheard at dinner. Woman: “These are not the things you say if you want romantic dinner conversation.” Man: “Well, what should I say?” Woman: “How about, 'You eat like a bird.'” Man: “Yeah a Pterodactyl.”

Tuesday, February 23, 2010


Quote of the Day: “You smell musty … it's like someone poured water into an attic.”

Sunday, February 21, 2010

Green Egg

Quote of the Day: “The Green Egg Grill is amazing … it changed my life … I'd cook cereal on it if I could.”

Saturday, February 20, 2010

Nose Driving

Quote of the Day: "I figured out today, it's not a great idea to blow your nose with driving."

Friday, February 19, 2010


Quote of the Day: "My nose has been really stuffed up recently, so I've become a mouth breeder ... I mean breather."

Thursday, February 18, 2010

Ear Plugs

Quote of the Day: "I think I breathe through my ears! I put some ear plugs in the other day and I had a hard time getting oxygen."

Wednesday, February 17, 2010


Quote of the Day: As spoken by a friend of mine to his three kids (6th, 8th and 10th Graders) at the dinner table right after he was laid-off from his job: "Listen everybody, money's tight so we are gonna have to make some changes ... your mom and I are gonna have to let one of you go."

Tuesday, February 16, 2010


Quote of the Day: “Women's Curling would be much more interesting if their uniforms were like Hooters Girls.”

Monday, February 15, 2010


Quote of the Day: George Washington - “Associate with men of good quality if you esteem your own reputation; for it is better to be alone than in bad company.”

Sunday, February 14, 2010


Quote of the Day: “Happy Chinese New Year! The year of the tiger ...and I'm still writing 'ox' on my checks.”

Saturday, February 13, 2010


Quote of the Day: First things this morning Porter greets me with this. Porter: “I had dreams last night about soft fuzzy kittens.” Bill: “So did I.” Porter: “What were you doing ...drowning them?”

Friday, February 12, 2010


Quote of the Day: “Why is it that every great quote you have is too dirty for Facebook?”

Thursday, February 11, 2010

Pretty Snow

Quote of the Day: Porter: “This isn't a snow storm, I want a huge storm with pretty snow like in D.C.” Bill: “I tell you what, why don't you shovel the driveway for a while and tell tell me how pretty it is.”

Wednesday, February 10, 2010

Snow Storm

Quote of the Day: “Snow Storm? It's not a real Snow Storm unless the snow is deeper than a penis is long.”

Tuesday, February 9, 2010

Old Person

Quote of the Day: "Inside every older person is a younger person ... wondering what the hell happened."

Monday, February 8, 2010

Bread and WIne

Quote of the Day: “After we've had our fill of bread and wine will shall tell tales of other times we had our fill of bread and wine.

Sunday, February 7, 2010

Book Club

Quote of the Day: Bud Light Commercial. "Awesome, good times, I love Book Club ... I'd like to hear you read some words."

Saturday, February 6, 2010


Quote of the Day: “Don't worry about getting older, because if you're not having birthdays … you're dead.”

Friday, February 5, 2010


Quote of the Day: Grandpa Dave: “If you've ever wondered if you can burp and fart at the same time my testing has confirmed this theory.”

Thursday, February 4, 2010


Quote of the Day: “I like wine … wine is what I drink on nights when I'm not drinking.”

Wednesday, February 3, 2010

Dr. Drew

Quote of the Day: “Is it wrong to prepare to watch Dr. Drew's Celebrity Rehab by opening up a bottle of wine?”

Tuesday, February 2, 2010


Quote of the Day: While discussing a healthy diet. “I've decided my favorite food is cholesterol.”

Monday, February 1, 2010


Quote of the Day: Spoken as people kept walking in front of the TV. "You are many great things in life ... a window is not one of them."